12 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Geekish Setup and Methodology
Ok so here is how it is going to go down for this first day of insatiable insanity.
First, I plan to take a various assortment of fruit and veggie sexual organs. Inspect them for disease or other reproductive problems. Then give them a thorough cleansing to remove any dirt and debris that may inhibit my satisfaction.
Next, I want to establish or perhaps more correctly stated, “approximate”, how much juice my masticator, with its squeezing and grinding, can get from each of my healthy fruits and veggies. To do this, I plan to weigh the subjects prior to mastication. Then with only good intensions, I will masticate them until they erupt with vibrantly colored juices, continuing until no more flows.
Upon completion of the mastication process, I plan to weigh the juice as well as determine the volume that was secreted. Now, because I am quite convinced that a single mastication session will not fully extract all the subjects juices, I will take the subject and place them within the masticator one final time. Then, record the final weight and volume followed by disposal of the subjects skeletal remains.
Now it should be noted that due a limitation with the device, at the end of each mastication procedure there will still part of the subject with its juice left inside the masticator. This is one of the main reasons for a second pass through. 
The mastication machine will be cleansed between each subject to remove any remains of the prior in order to help eliminate contamination.
Finally, I plan to personally taste each of the subjects secreted juices. Purely for unscientific data collection of course. I want to know what type of satanic group juicing I can contrive.
On that note, let the testing begin!
